The Inner World of An Introvert and The Imperfection Liberation
The only way to learn is to live, to stumble, to rise and to try again
The beauty of imperfection -
The Perfectionist Prison
Have you ever felt like you had an audience with you at all times, silently judging your every move? Do you constantly strive for perfection, believing that anything less is simply unacceptable? Well, my friend, you're not alone. As an introvert, I know all too well the struggle of perfectionism and how it can hold us back from truly living our lives.
Paralysis by Perfection
For the longest time, I was a self-proclaimed perfectionist. I felt like I had to prove myself to the world, to show that I was always right and that everything I did had to be flawless. But you know what? That mindset was seriously limiting me. I found myself not pursuing things I genuinely enjoyed because I didn't know how to do them perfectly, and I couldn't bear the thought of making mistakes.
The Spelling Mistake That Changed It All
It's funny how a small spelling mistake in a previous post triggered this realisation for me. When I noticed the error after publishing, it felt like the sky was falling over me for a split second. My inner perfect Monica was ready to take the stage, criticising me for my imperfection. But you know what? I shut her down right there.
I reminded myself of two crucial things: Firstly, the power of the words we tell ourselves. We have the ability to shape our own narratives, and it's important to be kind and understanding. Secondly, I realised that perfection doesn't exist. No one and nothing in this world are perfect, so why should I hold myself to an impossible standard?
"Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order." - Anne Wilson Schaef
Liberating from the Perfectionist Prison - The Plan
Breaking free from the clutches of perfectionism wasn't easy, but it was oh-so-liberating. I learned to embrace my mistakes as part of my personality. Instead of berating myself for not being flawless, I started seeing mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning. And guess what? That's something us introverts absolutely love – constant learning!
So, how did I learn to live with imperfection? Let me share some tips and tricks that worked wonders for me:
Rewriting the Internal Script: I started consciously changing the narrative in my mind. Instead of berating myself for every misstep, I adopted a more compassionate and forgiving tone. I reminded myself that mistakes are steppingstones to growth and learning. Also, instead of labelling myself as a perfectionist it is helpful to tell about myself that I have a tendency for acting in perfectionist way. This way I’m giving myself permission to be different - “this is what I do” vs “this is who I am”.
Embrace the beauty of mistakes: I discovered the joy of making mistakes because it meant I was trying new things and expanding my horizons. As introverts, we love learning, and making mistakes is an integral part of that process. Embracing my flaws became a catalyst for personal growth (imagine if Facebook had to wait until it was perfect to launch).
Practice self-compassion: As soon as I see the perfection thoughts hindering in I start treating myself with kindness and understanding. Remember myself that I am human, and making mistakes is part of being human. I am gentle with myself and celebrate my progress, no matter how small.
Seek growth opportunities: Step out of your comfort zone and try new things (as I like to say, get comfortable out of your comfort zone). Perfectionism stifles growth and prevents us from evolving. I realised that it's through imperfections that we truly learn and excel. Whether it's trying a new recipe, learning a language or delivering a work presentation, I allowed myself to take risks and embrace the potential for mistakes. Each misstep became a valuable lesson on the path to improvement.
Surround yourself with supportive people: I connect with like-minded individuals who understand and appreciate my introverted nature. I sought out mentors who inspire me to be your authentic self and who celebrate my strengths and flaws alike.
Challenge your inner perfectionist: Whenever that nagging voice of perfectionism creeps in, challenge it. Remind yourself that perfection is an illusion and that the pursuit of it only leads to unnecessary stress and self-doubt. Embrace imperfection and watch yourself flourish.
Remember, dear introvert, life is messy, and that's perfectly okay. Embracing imperfection allows us to explore new horizons, learn new skills, and ultimately grow into the best versions of ourselves. So, let go of the need for perfection, take that leap of faith, and watch yourself soar.
Let me give you a couple of examples of my recent life experiences.
One of the ways I've been challenging my perfectionist tendencies is by actively participating in a speaking club. Can you believe it? The thought of standing in front of a group of people and sharing my thoughts used to send shivers down my spine. I was so afraid of stumbling over my words or saying something foolish that I avoided public speaking like the plague.
But then, I realised that if I wanted to grow and become more confident, I had to confront my fears. So, I mustered up the courage to join a speaking club. And let me tell you, it has been a game-changer. The supportive environment and the opportunity to learn from others who are also on their own journeys of self-improvement have been invaluable. Sure, I've made my fair share of mistakes during those club sessions. Sometimes my mind goes blank, and I forget what I wanted to say. Other times, I stumble over my words and create some truly memorable verbal concoctions despite me preparing the speech in advance. But you know what? It's been incredibly freeing to realise that the world doesn't end when I make a mistake. In fact, it often leads to laughter and connection with others.
Another challenge I took on was getting my full motorcycle licence. I failed the test not once, but twice last year. And boy, did my perfectionist tendencies rear their head during those moments of defeat. I questioned my abilities, doubted whether I should continue, and even beat myself up for not achieving instant success. It took me more than a year, but I had an epiphany. Life isn't about passing every test on the first try. It's about resilience, persistence, and the willingness to keep going despite setbacks. I embraced my flaws, acknowledged that I still had more to learn, and prepared myself for another attempt. And you know what? When the time is right, I will pass that test and obtain my full motorcycle licence, and it will be all the more rewarding because of the journey it took to get there. And my skills will be a lot better than they were a year ago. Win-win for me.
“The only way to learn is to live, to stumble, to rise, and to try again." - Unknown
So, my fellow introverts, let me leave you with this: Don't let the pursuit of perfectionism hold you back from living a fulfilling life. “Embrace the glorious mess that you are”, celebrate your progress, and remember that imperfections are what make you unique and human.
Break free from the shackles of perfectionism and open yourself up to new experiences and opportunities for growth. Embrace the beauty of learning, even if it means stumbling along the way. Remember, it's the imperfections that add colour, depth, and character to your life.
Just go out there, my imperfect introverted friend, and live life to the fullest. Embrace your flaws, make mistakes, and watch yourself thrive in ways you never thought possible. Because in the end, it's not about being perfect, but about being perfectly yourself.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to make more mistakes because, well, that means I'm learning and getting better at it.
"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." - Nelson Mandela