The Stories We Tell Ourselves
The inner voice makeover: building a stronger, more resilient YOU through the stories you tell yourself
Have you ever noticed that little voice in your head that narrates your life? You know, the one that comments on how you look, sound, and act throughout the day? Well, that voice is telling a story about you - your very own autobiography. And guess what? You're the only reader. That's right, you're the main character and the audience all in one.
Now, my narrator can be a bit of a drama queen. If I make a mistake, it’s all over me saying "Oh no, here we go again. Another failure. How could you be so stupid?" But if I do something right, it's like a cheerleader is in my head, "Yes! You're amazing! You're a genius! Keep it up!" It's a rollercoaster, let me tell you.
But here's the thing, the stories we tell ourselves can have a significant impact on how we feel about ourselves. That's why it's essential to tune in and listen to what your narrator is saying. If it's negative, try to switch it up for something positive. And trust me, it's not always easy. It takes practice and a lot of compassion.
For example, the other day, I was feeling particularly down while I was trying to come up with a subject for this blog, and my narrator was having a field day. "You're a failure. You are not smart. You're not good enough. Nobody likes what you write anyway." But then I asked myself, would I say that to a friend? Of course not! So, I tried to imagine what I would say to a friend in that situation, and suddenly the narrative changed. "You're doing your best and that's all anyone can ask for. You're worthy of love and respect. You are smart.” And just like that, I felt better. And the theme of the post suddenly popped into my head.
That narrator is just a figment of my imagination. It is not real, and neither are the stories it tells me. I get to choose what kind of story I want to write about myself, and so do you.
So, here are some tips and tricks that worked for me, to help you change the stories you tell yourself:
Listen in - start paying attention to your narrator and the stories it's telling you. Tune in to what it’s saying about you and, crucially, how it makes you feel. You can write them down. use single words or sentences, whatever makes you feel good. But as you write down the words try not to judge how you are feeling.
Question it - ask yourself if what your narrator is saying is true, and if not, what a kinder version of the story might be. If it gets negative try to swap it for a supportive alternative.
Practice compassion - talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend. It is important that you believe the things you say to yourself. Speaking kindly to yourself can take practice when you are not used to it. Here are some ideas of things you could say to get you started:
I am allowed to make mistakes.
I can’t be perfect. No oane is. And I don’t need to be.
My feelings matter.
My feelings are valid.
Practice, practice, practice - changing the stories you tell yourself takes time and effort, but it's worth it in the end. If you find it difficult to change the tone of how you speak to yourself try not to beat yourself up. Changing habits like this can be really tough - and that’s actually worth acknowledging and being kind about that too!
Name it to tame it - give your internal narrator a pen name. It can help you recognise it and treat it with more detachment. Mine is called “Skeptic
Vera” but you can name it as you please. Here are a few funny suggestions to start you off: Drama Kitten, Judgmental Jan, Pessimistic Pam, Bulldozer, Cynical Cindy, Fault-Finding Fran, Brain Noodle, and so on.
It's not always easy, especially when that jerk of a narrator is particularly loud. But practicing kindness and compassion towards myself has made a huge difference in how I feel about myself. And let's be real - if I can offer that same kindness and encouragement to a good friend, why not do the same for myself?
Remember, you're the author of your story. You get to write the ending, and it doesn't have to be a tragedy. So, next time your narrator starts to get negative, tell it to take a hike, and write yourself a happy ending instead. Trust me, it works wonders.
After all, you're the author of your own life story.
Are you ready to give your inner narrator a makeover? Do you want to trade in that negative self-talk for a more positive and supportive inner voice? Then I'm your girl! As a transformational coach, I'm here to help you rewrite the story you tell yourself, one supportive word at a time. Whether you're struggling with self-doubt, anxiety, or just need a boost of self-confidence, I'm here to offer you some fun and effective tools for transforming your mindset. So, if you're ready to unleash your inner cheerleader and start living your best life, give me a shout! I promise, we'll have some laughs, share some stories, and most importantly, build a new narrative that empowers you to be your best self. Can't wait to hear from you!